Lashon Hara and Rechilut Policy

I've been lurking on blogs for about a year now, and one thing I've noticed is the plethora of anonymous blogs and anonymous comments. I'm of two minds on anonymity.

On the one hand, I dislike anonymity because people tend to be less inhibited about inappropriate language and behavior because they mislead themselves into believing that no one is watching. Pirkei Avot teaches that G-d is always watching, so anonymity for that reason is a fallacy. Also, anonymity makes it harder to take someone seriously, since the Internet is sometimes a vast wasteland of information that might or might not be true. At least if there's a real person behind that information, one can assess the veracity of that information, possibly by calling or emailing the individual and confirming that they really said what they said.

On the other hand, anonymity can be useful at times. When discussing difficult issues, such as sexual abuse, anonymity allows people with an "inside" perspective on the issue to weigh in on a very emotional discussion with less risk of being "outed." It seems to me that for people who deal with these issues, they need a safe outlet to discuss them - test the waters, so to speak - and anonymity helps them to be more comfortable. Hopefully, over time, the safe outlet will enable them to talk to a therapist, a rabbi, or a close friend, and begin to heal what must be terrible pain.

Anonymity also serves to remove the tendency for people to dismiss arguments because of the "you would say that" rationale. This amounts to shooting the messenger because of the message, and is not a reasonable way to conduct a discussion. I myself have experienced this a number of times in my life, and wish to avoid it here. Nonetheless, I am posting under my real name, not under a pseudonym, and am mochel in advance anyone who feels the need to bash me because of my frankness and openness. (For this reason, I may or may not have another anonymous blog to which I may or may not post occasionally, and if I do, I most decidedly will not tell you what blog that might be.)

I am interested in what you have to say, as long as it is done seriously and respectfully. I value serious or humorous comments. I do not value drivel and will ignore it as much as possible. I am somewhat conversant with the laws of lashon hara and rechilut. I am not an expert on it. Experts might very well tell me not to run a blog because it amounts to putting a stumbling block before a blind person. They might also tell me not to attend shiurim, or lectures, for the same reason.

I am not the lashon hara police and have decided against moderating comments. In order to allow those people who feel they have a need for anonymity to post anonymously, and to have some form of accountability, I opted for the "Registered Users" option under comments. That seems to be a compromise between complete anonymity and total accountability. I hold people who come to this blog b'chezkat kashrut - in other words, I trust you. If you register and post under an assumed name, please make it clearly fake so we'll know you're anonymous for a reason. (And to be clear, I will put up follow-up posts, not comments, so any comments bearing my name are counterfeit.)

A few words about my policy on lashon hara. I am a human, just like you, and I am far from perfect. I speak lashon hara from time to time, just like you. I realize that when I speak lashon hara, far from telling the world what a jerk he or she is, I'm really telling the world what a jerk I am. Since I am not a jerk, I try to speak lashon hara as little as possible.

I have lived long enough and paid attention enough to really believe in G-d and hashgacha pratit (divine guidance.) With regards to lashon hara, as with other sins, "what goes around comes around," and when you hurt others, you really only hurt yourself. Please keep this in mind before engaging in any hostility or uncivil behavior on my blog. Before you it the post button, ask yourself whether the statement is still true when you substitute the word "I" for the word "you" or "him" or "her" in your post.

For example: You are about to post "You are such a jerk." Do you intend to post "I am such a jerk," because that's what, in effect, you are telling the whole world about yourself.

If that's what you intend to say, it's fine by me. However, remember that you are not allowed to speak lashon hara about yourself, either, and personally, I don't think I'd hit the post button on the example comment above for that reason.

Remember that for anonymous commenters and commenters who choose to post under a pseudonym or even someone else's name, I may not know who you are, but for sure G-d does. As an aside, I am a professional "hacker," so I might know who you are, too. However, I have better things to do with my time than to investigate morons who have no yirat shamayim (fear of G-d) or who don't believe in G-d and consequently, have no self-respect.

This is your blog as much as it is mine. Please don't litter, and when you do by accident, clean up after yourself.

I reserve the right to update this policy from time to time as I "learn the ropes."